Andy Darvill's Science Site: Funnies


When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.

The Russians used a pencil.

This is not made up! Puzzled? Ask yourself 'what sort of shop is it?'

Actually, this is an urban myth. If you use a pencil, bits of graphite will break off and float around, causing havoc with the electrical equipment that keeps you alive. Apparently, ordinary biros DO work perfecly well most of the time anyway. Then again, NASA did spend a ridiculous amount of money developing the 'astronaut pen'. Makes a good story though...

Random one-liners. Or sometimes two. Or occasionally three…  

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Now look, I didn't create any of this, it just seems to come my way.
Well, OK, maybe I *did* go looking for some of it.
The Internet is a strange place, and contains some very silly things. Enjoy :-)

School ones

Then Jesus took his Disciples up the mountain....
The importance of correct punctuation
Student Bloopers 1
Student Bloopers 2
Biblical Howlers
Classroom jokes
Let's have a dig at OFSTED
Bart Simpson's lines
School Homework Policy
Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for your school...
God's school report

Science ones

A guide to effective scientific communication
To catch a lion in the Sahara desert
The Physicist's Bill of Rights
A call for more scientific truth in product warning labels
The temperature of Heaven
Theological Engineering exam
The cartoon laws of physics
Schroedinger's cat

Computer ones

Computer instructions by Dr Seuss
Running GirlFriend
Three engineers in a car...
I have a spelling chequer...
Planned Windows 2000 error messages
Bill Gates vs General Motors
Bill Gates goes to hell...
Computer Industry Acronyms
Is Windows a virus?
Questions from the Etch-a-sketch helpdesk
You must work in tech support...

Bits and pieces

Sometimes its really not your day...Doctor's Notes
Official language of the E.U.
On the London Underground
Is there a santa Claus?
Santa's Checkride
The twelve days of Christmas
The Wish
Woman: A Chemical Analysis
Newspaper quotes
Simple Truths
Rules of the house
Hello, and welcome to the psychiatric hot line...
U.S. Navy incident
Murphy's Laws
Take the test: are you a professional?
Talking frog
Answering machine messages
Dieting Under Stress
Job description for parents
The dangers of bread
The importance of consuming alcohol
Product safety warnings
The best Indian restuarant album in the world
Bohemian Curry
Lost in the translation...
The Chain letter of St Paul to the Corinthians
Common Sense
And God created Eve...
Health studies

and you really ought to take a look at    The Darwin Awards

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This is not me wearing the t-shirt. But I wish it was.


Moses! Cut it out and take your bath!

Umm... but how would a computer actually kill you?

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