Let's have a dig at OFSTED...

Question asked in uk.education.staffroom:
How Many OFSTED inspectors does it take to change a light bulb?

Assorted replies:

• Only one, but the last time he did it was 15 years ago.

• 23 - to check all of your light bulbs in the house at once, even though those light bulbs are the ones you keep in a cupboard especially for OFSTED visits, and you'll put the old duff ones back as soon as they leave.

• How about six:

1 to change it
1 to read the plan on how to change it
1 to observe the changing
1 to write it up
1 to assess
and 1 who we are never quite sure why they are there, but it makes for an even number.

• None, they merely advise that the bulb's performance is not satisfactory or better.

• OFSTED inspectors don't change light bulbs (some may have changed bulbs in the past; some have seen light bulbs in operation and some have observed light bulbs being changed):-

  They can observe you changing the bulb
  They can ask for a written list of aims and objectives for your light bulb changing activity - you'll of course need to show how this fits in to a general light fitment repair and replacement scheme.
  They can assess your light bulb changing, e.g. overall 4 - needs to inject more pace and challenge (suggest use of stopwatch, stilts and blindfold)
  They can even send in a special light bulb changing hit squad if you're particularly bad - you know, light bulb in upside down, used a candle instead because you'd run out of funds; couldn't control light bulb etc.
  But they NEVER do it themselves

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There's only one f-in OFSTED
But that's quite enough for us.
But with no f-in lesson plans
There's one hell of an f-in fuss.

There's an f-in form to fill in
For everything that's said.
There'll be no f-in future
If that fails to please the Head.

Sounds like one f-in photocopier
Has died of overheat.
There's no f-in chance at all now
To keep the worksheets neat.

There'll be no f-in inspector
When your lesson is first rate,
And there's no f-in good excuse
To explain why you're late.

There should be an f-in handbook
For evrything you do.
Tell the R.I. you left it
For light reading in the loo.

There's no f-in parking space
For half the f-in staff...
RESERVED for f-in OFSTED
Who have the last f-in laff.

There's no f-in spiritual
Or cultural education.
No f-in equality
But lots in differentiation.

There's only one F-in OFSTED
With it's "Education Speak"
Thank God there's an f-in Friday
To end the OFSTED WEEK.

from uk.education.staffroom

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