Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

ATÞ virus : Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus : Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus : Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

George Bush virus: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Madonna virus : If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car

Nike virus: Just Does It

Oprah Winfrey virus : Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB

Politically correct virus : Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".

Right To Life virus : Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

UK Parliament virus: splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.

Arnie Virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

Right On Virus: Computer refuses to compute. Thinks the state should do it.

British Gas Virus: Won't do anything now but sends two viruses round next Tuesday.

AA Virus: It doesn't do any harm but knows a virus who can.

Dyslexia Virus: Messes around with your flies.

Mussolini Virus: Hangs your system............from a lamp post